The Myth of Doing It All

Why Trying to Do Everything Is a Losing Game

If you live for having it all, what you have is never enough. Vicki Robin

Somehow, along the way, society decided that “doing it all” was a virtue worth aspiring to. It’s celebrated on social media, glorified in workplace culture, and woven into our daily conversations. You’ve heard it: “How do you manage to juggle it all?” or “I don’t know how you do it!” On the surface, these comments sound flattering, but let’s be honest—they often mask a deeper question: why are you doing this to yourself?

I’m not talking about those juggling multiple jobs out of necessity—that’s a different kind of strength and resilience. But when we sacrifice things we love, not because we have to, but because we feel pressured to, it’s worth pausing to ask: is what I’m prioritising truly worth more than what I’m giving up? After all, sacrifice means letting go of something deeply valuable.

This thought struck me recently while watching a video featuring someone portrayed as “having it all”—a successful businessperson, a super-parent, and seemingly unstoppable. This isn’t a critique of them personally but of the broader narrative society perpetuates around “doing it all.”

Watching that video made me reflect on the immense pressure we place on individuals to meet impossible standards, especially women. For some, juggling multiple roles can feel empowering, and that’s wonderful. But for many, the pressure to “do it all” leads to exhaustion and detracts from what truly matters. And yet we keep chasing this illusion because we’ve internalised a dangerous lie: our worth is tied to how much we can achieve and how many roles we can fill.

One-Way and Two-Way Doors: A Framework for Sanity

It’s time to challenge this mindset. We need to stop glorifying the relentless hustle and start prioritising deliberate, thoughtful choices about how we spend our time and energy. True fulfilment doesn’t come from doing everything—it comes from doing what truly matters.

Designing a fulfilling life means reflecting on the decisions we make. When we fail, we learn, adapt, reprioritise, and move forward with greater clarity. But not all decisions are straightforward, and that’s where Jeff Bezos’ concept of one-way and two-way doors becomes a powerful tool for navigating the complexities of modern life. While he may be at a reflective stage in his own life, there’s no denying the empire he’s built and the insights he’s shared along the way.

In business, Bezos categorises decisions as follows:

• One-way doors: High-stakes, irreversible choices that require careful thought because there’s no turning back.

• Two-way doors: Low-stakes, reversible choices that can be tested, adjusted, or abandoned without major consequences.

This distinction is a game-changer because it helps us channel our energy into what truly matters, while enabling us to move quickly on everything else—a vital skill in today’s rapidly changing world. The problem is, most of us treat everything like a one-way door. Every decision feels monumental. Every opportunity feels like it could make or break us. So, we say “yes” to everything and end up overwhelmed.

Recognising What Matters

Here’s the truth: most decisions aren’t one-way doors—they’re two-way doors. But a few decisions truly shape your future, and those deserve the most attention, thought, and careful consideration. While yours may differ based on your personality and priorities, here are my one-way doors:

1. Mastering The Craft:

I’ve navigated life by following my energy and curiosity, seizing every opportunity to improve my skills along the way. I’m gradually uncovering a path that feels authentic and perfectly aligned with my personality. It’s clear that the time has come to make a decision and fully commit to mastering this craft. Yet, it’s daunting. How often have you heard someone say, “I’ve devoted my life to this, and nothing came of it,” only to later witness the moment when everything finally falls into place? Growth takes time—a challenge for someone as impatient as I am. This road is anything but easy.

The time and effort we invest in professional growth and skill mastery are deeply meaningful, shaping not only our careers but our long-term trajectory. For me, strategy, writing, and music are the passions that make me feel alive. Dedicating myself to them is a profoundly impactful, one-way decision.

2. Living Life on My Terms:

This is another one-way door decision. Looking at the things that bring me joy, one theme stands out: freedom. Freedom to master my craft, to explore the world, be spontaneous, and embrace life fully without constraints. These are unprecedented times, offering more opportunities than ever to carve our own paths and define what fulfilment looks like for ourselves, rather than following a script written by tradition or expectation.

I recognise that not everyone has the same freedom to design their life path and that societal pressures around marriage and parenthood often vary by gender, culture, and circumstances. While these expectations disproportionately affect women, they also impact people of all genders who feel compelled to meet traditional milestones. For those of us fortunate enough to have the freedom to choose, it’s worth reflecting deeply on how we want to use that privilege.

Every decision is also a choice to forgo another path. While I’ve never felt a strong pull toward marriage or parenthood—largely because of my desire for freedom—I’m increasingly aware of the narrowing window to have biological children. This is an intentional, active choice, not a passive circumstance.

These reflections aren’t a critique of those who embrace parenthood or wish to. They’re simply a reminder of the importance of thoughtful consideration, especially for women, who often bear the greatest physical, emotional, and societal costs of reproduction. I believe everyone should take the time to reflect on the profound and far-reaching implications of the decision to parent—or not—and consider how it aligns with their core values.

3. Cherishing Time with Loved Ones:

Time is one of the few resources we can never replenish. The opportunity to nurture meaningful relationships—with parents, a partner, their parents, mentors, and close friends—is fleeting, and once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. Prioritising these connections is a deeply personal and unwavering commitment, as they are the cornerstone of the fulfilling and balanced life I strive to create. This is a deliberate, one-way decision.

The Freedom to Choose

What is work, really? At its essence, every organization is simply a group of people collaborating to achieve a shared vision. As the boundaries between the professional world and personal life continue to blur, businesses and entrepreneurial endeavours increasingly draw strength from the solid foundations we cultivate in our personal lives. Mastering the ability to distinguish between one-way and two-way doors in our individual decisions not only empowers us to navigate life with intention but also equips us to excel and thrive at any level in the future.

When I see people boasting about how much they sacrifice to “do it all,” I don’t feel admiration—I feel sadness. They’re trapped in a system that values busyness over balance, quantity over quality.

But life isn’t about doing everything; it’s about doing the right things. By focusing on the one-way doors—the choices that align with our values and future—we can create a life of intention and purpose.

The freedom I crave doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from doing less, deliberately and meaningfully.

Power to you,

ADRIANA